Often times we can feel like if there’s no drama, or issues in my life everything is good.

We can choose to keep looking forward and never learn about the record written in out heart of past trauma from the past drama you lived out as an actor. All was recorded and saved as a record of memories at that stage in your consciousness.

However those memories have conditioned your consciousness on a sub/unconscious level. They come up undetected when triggered by something familiar or similar in the now… but if we r not aware or don’t understand them, we simply release and explode great emotional energy onto the person or circumstance in front of us, or we blame the thought or memory on Satan or the devil attacking us… and we resist and battle the thought.

Instead rather, if we sit in the emotion, follow the thought, holy spirit will lead and guide us into all truth… and the root… suddenly I see, 6 year old me, or 10 year old me, when something traumatic impacted me and caused me to believe a lie that Froze in time, crystalized, conditioning, and setting limits on my limitless consciousness… from that day forward… locked… until I find the key to unlock it. Years pass, we hide the pain in a closet, try to forget the memory exists, and move in with life, convincing ourself it doesn’t effect me.

Later, only those you love n allow close enough to your heart, will have u let your guard down, and areas you didn’t even know where defended and fortified in self preservation will become vulnerable.. and suddenly the people around you begin to do or say things that are eerily familiar… they begin to play the role they signed up for in eternity to remind you of the memories, to trigger them to rise up… and cause you to react, respond, project, vomit…

It can seem not fair, that the ones who love u the most, are the ones that have to take the shit flying and hitting the walls and then help you clean up your mess and dress your wounds… but as Christ in eternity, it is the cross they chose to bear. The instrument of mutual death we chose to carry in order for deeper permanent freedom to Penetrate and saturate your being. Those who trigger your hidden past the most, while feeling like it’s Satan, are actually your Savior in bodily form rescuing you from hidden limits by forcing them to come forth so you can undeniably see they exist. It is a wild $#@!Ed up paradox but oh so freeing.

I have unlocked more of my childhood in the past few weeks then the last 35 years, and reconciling it all to good. To perfect. Transmuting it into Glory and wisdom and honor. I’m sorry to anybody having to deal with my shit but you won’t feel bad in a few months or years when you see what you helped me become.