You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.” When it comes to religion, people hold their views for deeply personal reasons.

Religion is a narrative into which a person is born, conditioned and indoctrinated. People become Christian because they are raised or evangelized into it. It’s not like they sat down and applied vigorous critical thinking to a menu of alternative views about ultimate reality and the meaning of life. This isn’t necessarily a problem unless the person wants to insist their beliefs are “right” and alternative views are “wrong”.

People will often say, “My authority is the Bible.” It would be more accurate for them to say, “My authority is what they told me at church the Bible means.” I have identified at least 31 factors that influence what a person comes up with in terms of their interpretation of the Bible.

So, when it comes to how a person deals with religious fundamentalists who want to argue, I offer these thoughts.

5 thoughts on how to argue with a fundamentalist:

1. Don’t

True conversation involves two willing participants who are open to learning from each other. Where these dynamics are not present, seriously weigh if it’s worth it. Typically in these cases, people are just arguing their position, and have no intention of considering anything outside it. Consider whether you really want to invest a lot of energy in an interaction that is nothing more than the drama of someone who just wants to argue and be right.

2. State your truth and let it go

People who want to argue like having the last word. Why? Because they thrive on conflict and drama, and exerting their superiority. Go ahead and express your truth fully, or state your disagreement. But after that, be willing to let it go. As a way of ending such conversations I will sometimes tell someone that they certainly have a right to their opinion, but that I don’t agree with it. Don’t get triggered by the common tactic of someone telling you that their view has authority and yours is only opinion. You can do your best to point out the insanity of this, but they likely won’t see it, at least not in that moment.

3. Don’t make it personal

People will claim or assert absurd, baseless and damaging views that I will feel the need to expose and address. What helps me in these cases is not to write it as a personal rebuttal to the person who said it, but as an explanation for others who might be following the exchange. Sometimes I just can’t leave certain comments alone without a response for the benefit of other readers.

4. Try to leave a snarky conversation with a positive
   vibe

Sometimes this is not possible, but whenever you can, make an attempt to leave a difficult conversation with goodwill. It’s often the case that two people have meaningful things in common outside the religious arena. For example, Abraham Maslow created the “Hierarchy of Needs” as a way of describing the universal needs and desires we all have as human beings. There is much more common ground for cultivating a meaningful unity and harmony, but we struggle to see this when we are entrenched in our tribes, warring against one another.

5. Have compassion

People are insistent and argumentative because their identity and security is anchored in their belief system. It’s a very fearful scenario to have their beliefs questioned and challenged. Most people’s beliefs are attached to their family and cultural background, and therefore very difficult to change, even in the face of conflicting evidence. Maybe you can even remember once being this way yourself. Remember how threatening it can be for someone who is having their beliefs scrutinized. Have compassion.